one of my idiosyncrasies

This post is about one of my many idiosyncrasies.one that has stayed with me a lesser or a greater degree right from my childhood.It all started with a TV tower and a traffic jam on the road along side that tower ,then i was 4 years old.I had solemnly sworn that when i would grow up i would be a superman and clear the traffic jams whenever and where ever they would happened in the world.As i grew my fantasies became less cinematic ,in my 6 Th class,the year i shocked my parents who had tried everything they could to make me sit and study by getting first rank in unit-test1.The memory of the moment when i received an applause from my classmates while i staggered to the stage o receive the prestigious 6Th class UT-1 report card still cuts across my mind like a knife.It was then i had decided that i would be a software engineer(was a big thing back then ).By the time i came to my 8th class i wanted to be a IAS officer."AH!what power and dignity IAS officer's enjoy"my grandpa would say.I would again solemnly swear to myself (only to break it later)that i would change the planet for the better and that becoming an IAS officer was the only way to do it.By the time i reached my 10 th standard i knew 3 things-
1)i would not want to be an IAS officer
2)i could not comprehend the difference between hindi and maths.i mugged up both.
3)i was good in biology.
So i in the later half of so called"the make or break "year of my life i decided i wanted to be a neurologist.I would dream at length myself in the doctor's white coat,with a badge on the left side with words"DR.M.V.HARSHA VARDHAN"engraved on it in italics.This dream was further nurtured by my friend santosh who too wanted to be a doc , a children's specialist.But after lot research and discussion with peers and family , i had decided that i would want to settle down before i lose all my hair due to excessive studying needed to become a neurologist.A month later i found myself and my friend ,santosh in a coaching center preparing for the entrance.I knew even then that i had made a slight compromise ,opting to be a engineer .So perhaps to satisfy myself a little i decided that i would do my engineering in only the top institutes .In hindsight i realized that it was the 2nd best decision i had made in my life.The pressure of having to understand the logic behind the solutions which i had conveniently ghotted in my school life was crushing,but for the first time in my life i persisted .I knew i had no other option.for the period i prepared for my exams it was if i knew right from my birth that i was to be an engineer.nothing else came to my mind.
after having made it to bits,i stared contemplating again on what i should be .When ever i would watch Geetanjali,mani-ratnam's classic movie, i would say to myself "YES! i want to be a film maker.i will make movies like this.".Whenever i would read a book that swayed me i would say "YES!i will be an author and then make movies out of my books.it will be so very exciting"
audacious dreams i would think to myself.When i first read about bits,bytes,op-codes,machine level language,assembly language and was blown away by it's beauty i would think "HMMM.research is not a bad option after all."
when i would see "YOUNG-TURKS" on CNBC TV 18 i would without any remorse change my ambition to "
TOP B-SCHOOL grad+entrepreneur.or maybe TOP B-SCHOOL grad+job in lehman brothers"
.Finally one day in the holidays ,after one year in bits i sat down and thought.IN a moment it was clear to me .I just understood the one thing i really wanted to do in my life.Out of the other options i had it did not" absolutely" matter which one i chose.It would of course matter if i would work for a bus like "satyam" or say Lehman brothers or BGC.but it wouldn't matter "absolutely".I knew i would just get along fine with it as long as i pursued the thing that mattered the most ,without letting the practicality of things tamper my audacity.That one thing is to be of use ,to do service,to reach out :)